Tim Goodman. The Bastard Machine

TVTM Weekend Podcast, Part 2

Yeah, it's late. Whatever.

Benny apparently finished his basement work (at the Chronicle, not at Chez Manny), sometime on Sunday, but it's not like I'm home frantically checking for his updates. And yet, here it is, in all of its glory. And yes, it's oozing glory. See the info in Part 1 to give you a pretty good idea of what's going to happen here.

Since we're so late in this week's double-dose, we're going to skip a week to try to get back on track. It will allow me to catch up on all the shows I'm now dreadfully and frantically behind on. It will allow Question Boy to do whatever it is he does. And it will allow Benny to toil in the basement for Moreworkus Chan a week longer.

Posted By: Tim Goodman (Email) | Nov 16 at 09:32 PM

TVTM podcast: Flirting with disaster! Canadian jealousy! Explanations! Answers! Walton!

OK, here's the story. Question Boy (aka Joe Garofoli the Chronicle's media writer), had Monday off. He told this to Manny (Benny Evangelista) and me late on a Sunday night. Thoughtful, as usual. So, we had no podcast for Monday. But, intent to bring joy to our worldwide audience, I came in on Wednesday to "get it done." Then, Benny/Manny was called to duty by Moreworkus Chan - doing all kinds of boring stuff down in the basement. He didn't finish the TVTM, Part 1, until Friday afternoon.

So here we are.

Thus, Part 2 is likely to be on the weekend, as our very first Weekend Podcast. But oh, the pair is quite exquisite. In the first, I add an explanation, nearly 2 years too late, about what we do and what you're listening to (hey, we're adding lots of new listeners who have no idea what they're getting into or hearing). After that, we get to a string of letters, accusations, suggestiveness, poorly executed singing and random vocal mannerisms (translation: our usual stuff). I then read a letter that suggests I've been flirting with Amber from Canada (aka Ask Amber). Duh. Of course. But the e-mailer wonders what Mrs. Cranky Pants thinks of this. I respond that we flirt with pretty much everyone. And we have, since the very first podcast. I then flirt with Benny. And in giving my elaborate reasoning for ongoing flirting, I reference a Graham Parker song called "Just Like Herman Hesse," where the chorus is, "You chose the spirit/And I chose the flesh/Just like Herman Hesse." Great song. Great, forgotten singer-songwriter. Then a fellow Canadian - from www.tvaddict.com - calls out Amber. He wants to be the new go-to question answer person when we outsource our questions. That's not nice, Daniel, trying to check Amber into the boards! We thought you Canadians played nice? We then flirt with Daniel. Don't miss Part 2 when we actually cold call him in Toronto and make him answer a very hard question. Then accuse him of flirting with J.J. Abrams. It's very complicated. And very flirty. And we call him on the usurping Amber thing. And we make another hockey reference (That's pretty much the extent of our Canadian understanding, outside of the beer.) Daniel does a fine job, as you'll hear in Part 2.

At some point, we answer questions. Mostly accurately. And take calls. More calls in Part 2. Plus, if you want to get into the action, then stop lurking! Give us a call at 1-888-SFC-TVTM if you're in Barack Obama Country. If you live outside of the U.S., call us at 415-777-8821 for "pennies on the dollar." MP3s are taken at podcasts@sfgate.com. Come on! Be creative. Get off your duff and come flirt with us!

Posted By: Tim Goodman (Email) | Nov 14 at 09:13 PM

Fall TV failures, worries and regrets?

Elton John executive produces Elvis' new series.

Couldn't call it unexpected. After preaching - since last season - that the networks' stategy to relaunch failed strike season dramas was going to be a disaster, well, it's a disaster. And yet, the networks are either cash-strapped, in denial, oblivious or all three, since precious few failing series have been cashiered so far. My Friday column for the Chronicle, which is up on SFGate right now, talks about these network woes and more. In many ways, this is an ongoing story. Failing series that nevertheless got re-upped (to cover, no doubt, for weak benches and strained bottom lines) have almost no chance of returning for next season. And there's probably a few more pink slips to go before we get to midseason. Ah, midseason. It's creeping up on us awful fast. Beside the "24" movie (Nov. 23) and Elvis Costello's new music talk show on the Sundance Channel (Dec. 3) there's pretty much nothing of note until January (when the midseason begins in desperation).

So, questions: How disappointed/bored have you been with this fall season? What freshman series are you loyal to? Does Fox putting "Dollhouse" on Fridays worry/gall you? And do you fear another of your favorite series won't make a return next season? Pour it all out right here. Then we'll hug it out.

Posted By: Tim Goodman (Email) | Nov 13 at 06:19 PM

Best unscripted shows on television? Your chance to vote!

"Top Gear." An all-time great.

I was planning this for about, oh, two months ago - but here it is. In Wednesday's Chronicle I have a column about "reality/unscripted" television. We posted it early on SFGate and now it's time to have your say. Why? Because I'm going to do another column soon ranking them - in order. But since there are so many unscripted shows on television, scattered all across the spectrum, it's almost impossible to keep track of them. A little promo push for your fave, then?

Posted By: Tim Goodman (Email) | Nov 11 at 05:54 PM

HBO's Sunday night comedy block. Watch tonight.

So I wrote a column for Monday's Chronicle about the need for good comedy in bleak times. And how there's a rush of it going into the pipeline, no doubt, what with two wars and a starkly unflattering economy in our laps. But I thought I'd give yet another shout out to HBO's Sunday night comedy block, particularly "The Life & Times of Tim," which I love dearly. (The review is part of a two-fer I did with HBO's other imported comedy, "Little Britain USA." As a longtime fan of "Little Britain" I've been incredibly disappointed with the U.S. revamp. Given the extra episodes I've seen, I was even too kind in my review. This series is borderline unwatchable now.) And "Summer Heights High," which I also like quite a bit and reviewed on Friday. The Australian hit series which comes fully formed to these shores tonight at 10:30 (rather than adapted and ruined, ala "Kath and Kim."). "Tim" follows. And, of course, there's "Entourage."

Here's a clip of "The Life & Times of Tim."

And here's a clip of Chris Lilley as one of the three characters he inhabits on "Summer Heights High." (The clip has edited out "bitch" when he's "acting" with a fellow student. Too bad - a good joke in that bit...)

Posted By: Tim Goodman (Email) | Nov 09 at 05:57 PM

TV Character Face-Off! Frank Pembleton vs. Jimmy McNulty!

It's a new category! It's a great time killer! It's a reader suggestion! There can be....only one!

So, who's it going to be David Simon fans? Frank Pembleton, the cranky but brilliant and multi-layered detective played by Andre Braugher on the NBC cop series, "Homicide: Life On the Street." Or James "Jimmy" McNulty, aka McNutty, the baggage-laded, fiercely independent, single-minded and ultimately ethics-challenged detective played by Dominic West in "The Wire."

McNutty, you shall pay for your transgressions!

Ooooh. This was a great suggestion. And I will reiterated the rules from my TV Show Face-Off! category: Pick one. And only one. Then defend and explain.

I'm going with Pembleton here. Though McNulty had a lot of great dramatic layers of self-inflicted wounds and weaknesses, Pembleton had as many complications as well - also dramatically intriguing. They shared a common trait in their dogged determination. But I loved Braugher. He held the whole show together for me. He's such an incredible actor. He commands the screen like few others. And Pembleton's ghosts, I think, were more inside his mind than his soul (like McNutty). And he was always, always, good po-lice.

Tell your gods to ready for blood! On my command, unleash hell!

Posted By: Tim Goodman (Email) | Nov 07 at 12:00 PM

TVTM podcast: Putting the lune in Lunesta! QB does a French Walton. Not one mention of you know who.

Calls and letters from around the globe. A song for Joe. Our man in France resurfaces - and his name is Jerry. And we all totally lose it in the podcave when Joe does his French Walton. Maybe there really was some kind of genius in not telling people outside of America who Bill Walton really was, because not knowing allowed them to do their own versions. A man for all seasons, all countries. But now, none better than French Walton.

Oh, and it's possible we even answered some questions. And no, a certain someone who was recently disemboweled by a dog puppet is not mentioned. God bless America! Oh, and Paris. Because it's the best city in the world.

Posted By: Tim Goodman (Email) | Nov 06 at 05:14 PM

The Ralph Nader reality show? Parsing racial comments; Triumph vs. Nader, etc.

No doubt some savvy TV executive has already thought this up, especially after Ralph Nader extinquished the relevancy of his political career with his offensive racial comments about Barack Obama on the very night Obama won the election and Nader won, well, nothing, as usual: A Ralph Nader reality show. Seriously, someone needs to put a camera on Nader 24/7. He's the epitome of what fuels a reality series: A character without a filter between his head and his mouth and the willingness to say just about anything while being completely oblivious to the fallout. If Nader doesn't have a development deal in 48 hours, someone missed a golden opportunity.

As to Nader supporters parsing what he said and what he meant with the "Uncle Tom" comment, let's not waste a lot of time and ranting comments on whether that's an offensive term or not. Why not field test it yourself? Go to a bar (around midnight, shall we say?) filled only with African Americans. Use the term "Uncle Tom" any way you'd like and see how that works out for you.

Nader has already been on record as saying Obama tries to "talk white." Here's his quote in the Rocky Mountain News: "There's only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He's half African-American," Nader said. "Whether that will make any difference, I don't know. I haven't heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What's keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white? He doesn't want to appear like Jesse Jackson? We'll see all that play out in the next few months and if he gets elected afterwards."

Well, looks like he got elected, Ralphie. Probably because he didn't do any interviews with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, as Nader did here on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." I could watch this over and over again. But alas, it's back to something that's relevant - television. I promise, no more free publicity for Nader. That is, unless he ends up on "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?"

Posted By: Tim Goodman (Email) | Nov 06 at 12:22 PM

Ralph Nader calls Obama "Uncle Tom" and Fox News calls him out.

As if Ralph Nader wasn't a big enough tool already, he went on Fox News on election night - the very night Barack Obama broke the racial barrier on the presidency - and uttered the words "Uncle Tom." Not only that, after being called out on the words (which he initially said in a radio interview) by Fox News anchor Shepard Smith - and given a point-blank chance to apologize and take them back, Nader said he wouldn't. It's a stunning bit of television and a lot of people missed it. (No doubt a good portion of the Bay Area, not exactly a bastion of Fox News watchers, did). Up until he spewed out the words, the biggest shocker in this scenario was A) That anybody still cared enough to talk to a washed-up political hack like Nader and B) That Nader could actually hear Smith call him on the offensive language. Nader rarely stops his mouth moving - he's always so caught up in his monotonous blather and meritless belief that he's making points people want to listen to.

Give Shep Smith a lot of credit here. "Really? Ralph Nader - what was that?" And then he just fried Nader. (I love the look on his face when Nader calls him a bully - it's that same look people should be giving Nader right about now for completely not getting it.)

So, let's go to the big board here for the tally: Nader helps the Democrats lose the election in 2000 and then slanders the Democratic winner in 2008? Well played, Ralph. At least this moment brings you (temporarily) back out of obscurity and irrelevance.

Posted By: Tim Goodman (Email) | Nov 05 at 04:23 PM

It's over. Karl Rove essentially called it about 40 minutes ago. Why not just say it?

Oh for God's sake - someone just say it already. This is a blowout and all you had to do was watch Fox News to find out. Long before Campbell Brown and John King played chicken on the math over at CNN, Karl Rove was speaking fairly plainly about it on Fox News right around 6:15 p.m. Fox News called Ohio and Rove, looking at the map (and already having done the math, no doubt, in his head a long time earlier) pretty much said to anchor Brit Hume that there was no chance. Hume, who had been hinting at the same thing as well, didn't disagree. In fact, the two shared a small laugh that John McCain would have to take Oregon. CNN, like most everybody else, was playing it safe and sane and trying to talk around the obvious.

This has been over for a while now. It's just strange to see Fox News being the first one to be realistic enough to tell you the simple truth.

Posted By: Tim Goodman (Email) | Nov 04 at 07:01 PM